Remember the 3 questions?
Perhaps it is only fair to explain why I feel I don’t have a lack of money mindset and why I came to the conclusion that it is indeed a lack of abundance mindset instead, by answering the 3 questions. Who knows? Maybe it will help one of you come to a realisation about your own mindset!
What did I hear around money when I was younger?
Yes, I heard the same old, same old:
“Money doesn’t grow on trees”
“Turn the lights off!”
“Stop wasting water”
What did I see around money when I was younger?
I would see Mum do stuff to make money go further. The two things that I probably remember most was that she would shop once a month in bulk (it would take two trolleys) and she made or mended the majority of our clothes.
What did I experience around money?
Again, it is the stand out things in my mind:
Mum rarely spent money on herself. She took a lot of pride in her appearance, but she would set her hair in rollers herself, sew her clothes (both casual and formal), do her own nails etc.
Dinners out were rare. Much rarer than they are these days. Dinner parties were more the go. I distinctly remember however on the occasions we would dine out both Mum and Dad saying they would have a cup of tea at home. I always remember thinking “it’s part of the dining out experience. Why not have a cup of tea out?”
These were my initial thoughts. My immediate answers to the 3 questions.
There are however two sides to every story.
I am not being Queen Justifier here. I don’t think? I am someone who looks at both sides of the coin (pun intended) in fairness to the situation and/or those involved. Cross out whichever is irrelevant!
As I further thought about this whole money thing and how I feel about it, I thought, growing up, we always had enough. We always got lots of birthday and Christmas presents – and if you know the size of my family, that is A LOT! Mum was savvy and so was Dad. They didn’t rush out to get the latest and greatest item as soon as it came on the market. They would save up and purchase practically. Mum was very considered in her choices about what she spent their money on. I don’t know if Mum ever worked off a budget. Perhaps not as Dad worked for himself so it could have been hard to have one to stick to if incoming amounts were not consistent. So who knows? If I am Queen Justifier, my Mum was Queen of making the dollar stretch. In our family, there were 8 mouths (plus a dog) to feed, plus any ring-ins we invited at the last minute! There was always food a plenty for everyone and a variety of food at that. We had holidays. Mum was a stay at home Mum so her role – apart from everything plus the kitchen sink – was to look after the finances. Mum steered the finances so that our home was paid off 10 years early. That doesn’t happen from not having enough money. And the big cracker that sealed it for me that I don’t have a lack of money mindset was that we were never ever made to feel like we were missing out on anything.
There is a BIG difference between intention, perception and reception.
The intention of teaching a child the value of a dollar can be perceived and received negatively in the words “money does not grow on trees”, “turn off the lights”, “stop wasting water”. It sounds like it sends a negative message about money and how to handle it. The big clanger is, I don’t ever remember being told or overhearing “we can’t afford that.” That was never the vibe. Hence why the subconscious message I did receive around the whole money thing was that there was always enough.
That lead me to ponder:
Aren’t money and abundance the same thing?
I would have thought so. But then again….
Stay tuned. We will discuss that next!